he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
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lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
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Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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