She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
