we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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