You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Those nachos came to me in a dream
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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