I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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