just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
