forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize