it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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