Kiss
Puke
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
