I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
