You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
