the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
