If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize