I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
