Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize