I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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