I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize