This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
