Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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