I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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