I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
