Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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