Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Too much gin, very little bucket
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
