She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I puked a lego.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize