I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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