Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize