Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I am one with the molecules
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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