Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
