guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We just shotgunned beers for America
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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