Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
