walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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