Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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