I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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