random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
