a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
