we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
