we're chasing vodka with high fives
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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