She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I need to calm my uterus...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
