you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize