Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
