Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize