i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
