I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
