I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
