remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
