Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
