How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
