when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
