My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
