I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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