I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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