he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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