If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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