Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I forget how to act sober
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