Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
