Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize