I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
