It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
