The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i dont even know how to be here
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
