i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
