you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize