would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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